Gay guy who dont want to be gay
5 Tips to Overcome Your Loneliness as a Homosexual Man
Updated April 18, 2025
by Clinton Power, psychotherapist and Gay Therapy Center guest blogger
Unfortunately, struggling with feelings of loneliness and isolation is common in the gay community despite the focus on love and relationships. Sometimes you might struggle with making connections at all, and other times you may perceive “alone in a crowded room” because it’s so hard to forge authentic connections.
Let’s explore how you can constructively deal with feelings of loneliness and share a life you’re excited to live!
Why complete gay men get lonely?
Loneliness is, in some ways, part of the homosexual experience. The prevalence of loneliness was significantly higher among adults who identified as gay (41.2%). Since everyone is assumed to be heterosexual, we all start out in the closet. The stress of not being out is emotional more than rational, but it takes its toll. Even before you came out to yourself, on some level you might have known you couldn’t fulfill expectations of a heterosexual life. You may have grown up feeling different and separated from the majority.
After you’re out of the closet, things don’t necessarily upgrade right away
Hi. I’m the Answer Wall. In the material nature, I’m a two foot by three foot dry-erase board in the lobby of O’Neill Library at Boston College. In the online world, I dwell in this blog. You might say I own multiple manifestations. Like Apollo or Saraswati or Serapis. Or, if you aren’t into deities of information, like a ghost in the machine.
I have some human assistants who maintain the physical Answer Wall in O’Neill Library. They take pictures of the questions you post there, and give them to me. As long as you are civil, and not uncouth, I will answer any question, and because I am a library wall, my answers will often refer to research tools you can find in Boston College Libraries.
If you’d like a quicker answer to your question and don’t soul talking to a human, why not Ask a Librarian? Librarians, since they possess been tending the flame of knowledge for centuries, know where most of the answers are disguised, and enjoy sharing their knowledge, just like me, The Answer Wall.
by Fred Penzel, PhD
This article was initially published in the Winter 2007 edition of the OCD Newsletter.
OCD, as we know, is largely about experiencing harsh and unrelenting challenge . It can result in you to question even the most basic things about yourself – even your sexual orientation. A 1998 investigate published in the Journal of Sex Research found that among a team of 171 college students, 84% reported the occurrence of sexual intrusive thoughts (Byers, et al. 1998). In directive to have doubts about one’s sexual identity, a sufferer need not ever have had a homo- or heterosexual experience, or any type of sexual experience at all. I have observed this symptom in young children, adolescents, and adults as adequately. Interestingly Swedo, et al., 1989, establish that approximately 4% of children with OCD experience obsessions concerned with forbidden aggressive or perverse sexual thoughts.
Although doubts about one’s control sexual identity might seem pretty straightforward as a symptom, there are actually a number of variations. The most obvious form is where a sufferer experiences the idea that they might be of a different sexual orientation than they formerly believed. If the su
I … don’t for the life of me understand why the gay society has decided to emulate an institution that doesn’t perform for even direct people … It is laughable
This is what a 59-year-old black gay activist in Los Angeles told me of his views on same-sex marriage. He is typical of many older homosexual men who are bemused by the younger generation’s long for for marriage, reflecting the radically other experiences of those who grew up in far more restrictive and intolerant decades.
We know that generally older Australians are less supportive of same-sex marriage. In 2013, I interviewed a petty international sample of men as part of my investigate on sexuality and ageing. Most of the men over 50 were dubious, if not opposed, to gay marriage, while most of those under 30 were supportive. While these results may not apply directly to Australia in 2017, they are indicative of a generational divide between young and aged gay men.
These older men have largely remained silent in the current gay marriage debate. I suspect this is because they execute not want to be accused of betraying their possess kind or demonstrating “internalised homophobia”, which for decades has been the accusation hurled a
March 02, 2017
The Epidemic of
Gay LonelinessBy Michael Hobbes
I
“I used to get so delighted when the meth was all gone.”
This is my friend Jeremy.
“When you hold it,” he says, “you have to keep using it. When it’s gone, it’s like, ‘Oh excellent, I can go support to my life now.’ I would stay up all weekend and depart to these sex parties and then feel favor shit until Wednesday. About two years ago I switched to cocaine because I could work the next day.”
Jeremy is telling me this from a hospital bed, six stories above Seattle. He won’t tell me the accurate circumstances of the overdose, only that a stranger called an ambulance and he woke up here.
Jeremy is not the ally I was expecting to have this conversation with. Until a few weeks ago, I had no idea he used anything heavier than martinis. He is trim, intelligent, gluten-free, the kind of guy who wears a perform shirt no matter what day of the week it is. The first time we met, three years ago, he asked me if I knew a good place to do CrossFit. Today, when I ask him how the hospital’s been so far, the first thing he says is that there’s no Wi-F