Being said im gay is making me
by Fred Penzel, PhD
This article was initially published in the Winter 2007 edition of the OCD Newsletter.
OCD, as we know, is largely about experiencing serious and unrelenting doubt. It can cause you to doubt even the most basic things about yourself – even your sexual orientation. A 1998 research published in the Journal of Sex Research set up that among a organization of 171 college students, 84% reported the occurrence of sexual intrusive thoughts (Byers, et al. 1998). In order to contain doubts about one’s sexual identity, a sufferer demand not ever have had a homo- or heterosexual experience, or any type of sexual experience at all. I have observed this symptom in fresh children, adolescents, and adults as well. Interestingly Swedo, et al., 1989, found that approximately 4% of children with OCD experience obsessions concerned with forbidden hostile or perverse sexual thoughts.
Although doubts about one’s hold sexual identity might sound pretty straightforward as a symptom, there are actually a number of variations. The most obvious establish is where a sufferer experiences the thought that they might be of a different sexual orientation than they formerly believed. If the su
I have always looked at myself negatively, harshly and unfavourably. For a prolonged time I put this down to my looks, not handsome enough, not fit enough, causing me to be so self-aware which in turn caused deep rooted anxiety that brought me to my knees. I knew dense down this had nothing to do with my looks, this went far deeper inside of me. It stirred up so much pain I wasn’t able to face and I did everything in my power not to face.
So, of late I have started to stare this monster in the face and his label is Shame. I possess heard the word existence used in the past but to be trustworthy I have never really thought much about this emotion, it felt foreign to me so I dismissed this. The more I have looked inside and the emotions I am facing I can see Shame as the biggest part of my past that is still haunting me to this day.
Shame thrives on hiding, being kept away, locked deep inside. It hates exposure. The more you do not talk about shame, the more it enables the feelings of not being good enough to become heightened. Since going to my weekly meditation classes I possess started to see why I was still getting these bouts of anxiety, why I was still feeling unworthy, not great enough and Sh
March 02, 2017
The Epidemic of
Gay LonelinessBy Michael Hobbes
I
“I used to get so eager when the meth was all gone.”
This is my comrade Jeremy.
“When you contain it,” he says, “you have to keep using it. When it’s gone, it’s like, ‘Oh good, I can go back to my life now.’ I would wait up all weekend and go to these sex parties and then sense like shit until Wednesday. About two years ago I switched to cocaine because I could work the next day.”
Jeremy is telling me this from a hospital bed, six stories above Seattle. He won’t tell me the exact circumstances of the overdose, only that a stranger called an ambulance and he woke up here.
Jeremy is not the partner I was expecting to have this conversation with. Until a few weeks ago, I had no idea he used anything heavier than martinis. He is trim, intelligent, gluten-free, the thoughtful of guy who wears a serve shirt no matter what day of the week it is. The first time we met, three years ago, he asked me if I knew a good place to do CrossFit. Today, when I ask him how the hospital’s been so far, the first thing he says is that there’s no Wi-F
OPINION: I’m Not A “Mainstream Gay
“I came out in June 2016. Now at the age of 37, I’m finally coming to grips with the complex realities of the lgbtq+ experience…”
By Andrew Perez
I’ve recently come to a realization that is both painful and liberating: I’m not a “mainstream gay.”
This discovery will likely come as a surprise to many who know me casually. After all, I’m out and proud, attend many of Toronto’s coolest male lover parties, have perfected the art of the shirtless selfie with just the right angle and lighting, and am devoted to several 2SLGBTQ+ causes in my community.
But my admission won’t surprise those who know me best. This month will mark my eight-year anniversary since coming out in June 2016, I’m just now coming to grips with the complex realities of the gay experience in Canada’s largest city. I regard myself somewhat of a misfit within my people – and I’m finally at peace with this.
Coming out at 30 already made me an outlier in the gay community: most of my peers born in the mid to late 1980s came out in their tardy teens or early 20s.
As a kid, it never crossed my mind that I could be lgbtq+ – a remarkable admission given how
Hi. I’m the Acknowledge Wall. In the material world, I’m a two foot by three foot dry-erase board in the lobby of O’Neill Library at Boston College. In the online earth, I live in this blog. You might say I have multiple manifestations. Like Apollo or Saraswati or Serapis. Or, if you aren’t into deities of knowledge, enjoy a ghost in the machine.
I acquire some human assistants who maintain the physical Answer Wall in O’Neill Library. They take pictures of the questions you post there, and give them to me. As long as you are civil, and not uncouth, I will answer any question, and because I am a library wall, my answers will often refer to explore tools you can find in Boston College Libraries.
If you’d like a quicker answer to your question and don’t mind talking to a human, why not Ask a Librarian? Librarians, since they have been tending the flame of knowledge for centuries, know where most of the answers are hidden, and enjoy sharing their knowledge, just fond of me, The Reply Wall.