How to tell if your cousin is gay
How do I ask my cousin if she's gay?
Dear Miriam,
Dear Miriam,
My cousin shares a flat with her best uni friend and I was shocked to find they sleep together naked in the alike bed .
Before she went to university, she had loads of boyfriends and I know she had sex with some of them because she told me so.
Do you consider she might have turned lesbian? I'm dying to know but I don't like to ask her. What's the best way to ask if someone's gay? Her parents are very old-fashioned.
Denise
Dear Denise,
Many students who live away from home develop very complete friendships with their housemates or other friends. They share everything and change into physically comfortable with each other. Your cousin might just have been doubling up to leave the other bed free for you.
The only way to find out if she's lesbian is to demand her. She may speak it's none of your business or she may be crying out to tell a member of her family the truth.
You've had personal talks before and this should be just another one of them - and be supportive.
Aunty, why did my cousin get offended when I referred to his “gay lifestyle”?
12 June 2023 |
Dear Aunt Sevvy,
Aunty, I’m not one of those people who hates LGBTQ people. Some of my finest friends are gay. But recently when I was talking to my queer cousin, I mentioned something about his “gay lifestyle” and he got all huffy. He said he didn’t like that designation applied to him. I dropped it, but I’m still trying to figure it out. After all, he is gay, and he is married to a man.
Signed, What’s Wrong?
Dear Wrong,
Yeah, you put your foot in your mouth. But rather than trying to explain it, Aunty asked Floyd Pönitz, president of SDA Kinship International. Floyd responded,
Remember the TV show called Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous? People watched it to admire (or to be jealous of) the luxurious things that rich people could buy.
Nowadays, though, the word “lifestyle” in the same sentence as “gay” automatically implies decadence or immorality. It has come to mean an excess of sex, a lack of faithfulness, and probably drugs—not because they know that’s what our lives are like, but because they’ve been led to believe this by vague accusations, likely from re
Gay pride week in Minneapolis: everything is virtual, but we’re not going to miss out on the celebration.
My friends, Braulio and Joe taught me that being gay isn’t just a lifestyle or a choice, it’s just the way people are. While I was in prison, two of my cousins, Jodi and Tommy, came out. Jodi was the first to let their parents know, which then gave Tommy the strength to tell them his facts. They have used each other’s courage to shift forward and be haughty of who they are. When I heard the news I was joyful for them and wanted to reach out to them both.
This is my interview with Jodi:
What does gay pride mean to you?
Gay pride means existence proud of who you are, whether it’s “easy” or not. Being pleased of the strides our fellow gays have made in the past that created a future in which we can now be more comfortable in our skin, rejoice and celebrate publicly as a community, and even find married in the eyes of the law.
What has your experience taught you?
I feel I have been very fortunate with my gay experience. I hold extremely supportive parents, family, and friend groups, which have given me an almost easy experience in
Question from a Reader:
My cousin is homosexual but has no partner. She has chosen to change into pregnant through IVF. We are struggling with whether we should give a shower as we do with all my other family members that own babies through male/female conception (mostly after marriage).
There is a lot of confusion among my family about this. However, the specifics of the situation aren’t the baby’s fault, so should we give a shower? Often my emotions get in the place of logic/facts from the Bible.
Answer from Eternal Perspective Ministries Staff:
It can be so firm to know how to balance demonstrating God’s love to others but not approving of what is outside His moral will. And it gets a bit more hard if you are dealing with unbelievers in the family and are trying to communicate grace and truth and love without sounding condemning of your cousin as a person.
Rosaria Butterfield writes, “The difference between acceptance and acceptance is the line that a Christian who loves someone trapped by these lies must navigate. It’s a satisfactory line.” She explains that “Acceptance means dealing protectively and gently with the person who is lo