Coming out can be very emotional for lesbian, gay, bisexual person, transgender, and gay (LGBTQ) people. It can be thrilling or provide a tremendous sense of relief, but it also carries the risk of rejection, discrimination, harassment or even physical force. A person who is coming out may experience a roller coaster combination of joy, terror, self-confidence, vulnerability, celebration or anxiety.
For a straight person, it isn’t necessarily any easier. Even linear people who sustain LGBTQ equality may still be shocked or feel awkward when their family member, friend or coworker pulls them aside to declare, “I’m gay” or “I’m trans.” They may not realize how to react. They may also be afraid of making the situation uncomfortable or saying something they might regret.
Everyone’s experience is different, so there’s no script to follow when someone comes out to you. But if you’re respectful, polite and patient, you can avoid or minimize any feasible tension or embarrassment by remembering the following guidelines:
Do
Don't
Listen to what he, she, or they hold to say and let them position the tone of the conversation. Listening will show that you respect them and help put them at e
If Someone Comes Out to You
Someone who is coming out feels close enough to you and trusts you sufficiently to be truthful and risk losing you as a friend. It can be difficult to know what to say and what to do to be a supportive friend to someone who has “come out” to you. Below are some suggestions you may wish to follow.
Thank your buddy for having the courage to inform you. Choosing to tell you means that they acquire a great deal of respect and trust for you.
Don’t determine your friend. If you have tough religious or other beliefs about LGBTIQ communitites, keep them to yourself for now. There will be plenty of time in the future for you to think and talk about your beliefs in illumination of your friend’s identity.
Respect your friend’s confidentiality. Allow them the integrity to contribute what they crave , when and how they want to.
Tell your friend that you still care about them, no matter what. Be the friend you contain always been. The main fear for people coming out is that their friends and family will reject them.
Don’t be too serious. Sensitively worded humor may ease the tension you are both probably feeling.
Ask questions you may have, but understand that your friend
Safeguarding LGBTQ+ children and adolescent people
Risks of harm
Evidence suggests that LGBTQ+ children and young people might be at increased risk of some forms of harm.
Child sexual exploitation
LGBTQ+ relationships are underrepresented in educational resources and the media (Barnardo’s and Fox, 2016). This means there are fewer examples of relevant, well relationships available to Gay young people. If Queer young people are not taught about healthy and unhealthy relationships, it might be easier for an abuser to groom them into believing an abusive relationship is normal.
If Diverse young people are unable to get information about sex and relationships from school or family, they might seek advice and support from people in adult spaces, such as gay clubs. This is particularly true of immature people who live in rural areas or in communities where their gender identity or sexuality is not accepted. Adult spaces don’t have the similar safeguarding and child protection measures in place as spaces specifically for children. Children might be pressured or coerced into doing something they don’t need to do, particularly if they are already isolated and don’t have anywhere els
Mental health support if you're lesbian, gay, attracted to both genders or trans (LGBTQ+)
Mental health problems such as depression or self-harm can affect any of us, but they're more shared among people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans (LGBTQ+).
This may be linked to LGBTQ+ people's experience of discrimination, homophobia or transphobia, bullying, social isolation, or rejection because of their sexuality.
Other things, such as their age, religion, where they reside, and their ethnicity can include extra complications to an already difficult situation.
How talking therapy can help
It might not be easy, but getting help with issues you're struggling to deal with on your own is one of the most important things you can do.
Talking with a therapist who's trained to perform with LGBTQ+ people may help with issues such as:
difficulty accepting your sexual orientation
coping with other people's reactions to your sexuality
feeling your body does not reflect your true gender (gender dysphoria)
transitioning
low self-esteem
self-harm
suicidal thoughts
depression
coping with bullying and discrimination
anger, isolation or rejection from family, friends or your community
fear of v
LGBTQ Rights
The ACLU has a long history of defending the LGBTQ community. We brought our first LGBTQ rights case in 1936. Founded in 1986, the Jon L. Stryker and Slobodan Randjelović LGBTQ & HIV Project brings more LGBTQ rights cases and advocacy initiatives than any other national organization does and has been counsel in seven of the nine LGBTQ rights cases that the U.S. Supreme Court has decided. With our reach into the courts and legislatures of every state, there is no other organization that can match our register of making progress both in the courts of law and in the court of public opinion.
The ACLU’s current priorities are to end discrimination, harassment and violence toward trans people, to close gaps in our federal and state civil rights laws, to prevent protections against discrimination from being undermined by a license to discriminate, and to preserve LGBTQ people in and from the criminal legal system.
Need help? fill out our confidential online form
For non-LGBTQ issues, please contact your local ACLU affiliate.
The ACLU Lesbian Gay Double attraction Transgender Project seeks to create a just world for all LGBTQ people regardless of race or income. Thr