What does being a top mean when your gay

Top/Bottom

The terms top and bottom emerged as descriptors of a sexual binary in the gay leather culture of the 1950s and the bondage and sadomasochism (BDSM) culture of the 1960s. Originally, the top-bottom binary signified both sexual positions and might relationships in which a top was a sexual aggressor and penetrator who often acted as the more forceful and dominant partner; the bottom represented the more submissive, typically penetrated, and often "punished" partner.

DEFINITION AND USE OF THE TERMS

In the BDSM community the term top indicates the dominant companion who inflicts pain on, enacts control over, or otherwise subjects his or her partner to acts associated with bondage, discipline, and sadomasochism. The word bottom indicates the receiver of such treatment. In these cases the terms are not gender-specific: A male or a female may act as a top or a bottom. Although the top is the dominant partner, the bottom often still has control. For example, a top who takes command from the bottom's explicitly expressed wishes often is called a service top.

These terms evolved in the 1970s and 1980s as they were adapted by the gay community. In that community they

If you’re first exploring lgbtq+ sex — or kink — it can be intimidating enough already; it’s easy to feel as if you’re starting all over again, and everyone else knows things you don’t. It can be even more confusing to see terms you don’t recognize floating around, love “top” or “bottom.” You may feel like you can never catch up, or will always be seen as inexperienced if you don’t feel an immediate connection to these terms. It doesn’t possess to be that way! You can get situated and learn some key context quickly and easily. Here’s what I consider you need to grasp about what it means to be a top.

What a “top” means in vanilla sex

If we’re talking about tops or bottoms in the context of having “normal,” or penetrative, sex, first of all, we are generally talking about queer sex. Although, of course, there are many ways to possess sex for people of all genders, and sex doesn’t have to involve penetration, sex between people of different genders doesn’t necessarily involve a uppermost and a bottom. In queer sex — sex between people of the same gender or with the same set of genitalia — people often choose to

What Does “Top” Mean?

In the context of gay relationships and sexual dynamics, terms such as “top”, “bottom”, “verse” and “side” are often used to illustrate a person’s sexual preferences and roles. It is significant to knowing these terms not only for members of the LGBTQ+ society, but also for increasing understanding and acceptance of homosexual relationships in society.

What Does “Top” Mean?Physical AspectsEmotional and Psychological AspectsCommunication and ConsentWhat Does “Bottom” Mean?Physical AspectsEmotional and Psychological AspectsThe Stigma Around Being a BottomWhat Does “Verse” Mean?Accepting DiversityCommunication and CompatibilityWhat Does “Side” Mean?Non-Penetrative IntimacyOpposing NormsAccepting One’s IdentityRoles and MythsHealth and Safety During Gay Sex

As a rule, in lgbtq+ sexual relationships, the “top” is the partner who has a penetrative role during anal sex. However, the notion of top includes much more than just physical actions: it includes a whole set of attitudes, preferences, and sometimes emotional roles.

Physical Aspects

In physical terms, the top in a gay sexual relationship is the partner performing the penetration. This may include the employ

Ever wanted to grasp the secrets to becoming a influence bottom? Want to know how to look after the bottoms in your life? Curious to give bottoming a try but not sure how to begin?

We can aid you become a better bottom! Here are some swift bottoming tips and tricks from ACON’s peer-workshop Booty Basics.

1. Lube

The arse does not produce its own lubrication.

This means that lube is really, really vital for any anal play. First, to stop damage to the internal lining of your arse. Second, to create bottoming (and topping!) more pleasurable. And third, to support protect it from infections.

Remember to apply water or silicon-based lubes, as oil-based lubes can break condoms.

2. You

The second principle is YOU. This is the one that covers off all the mental and sentimental aspects such as making sure you feel safe, making sure there is consent, that you feel comfortable, that you know your own bottoming limits and desires.

Remember, sex is best for everyone if all the people emotionally attached are motivated by trying to maximise everyone’s pleasure safely. You can’t be a good girlfriend and you can’t experience pleasure for yourself if you’re stressed or uncomfortable (bottom or not!).

3. Rel

Gaymenare constantly referring to and defining themselves as "tops" or "bottoms." When they consider dating or simply hooking up, gay men typically ask the other guy whether he's a top, a bottom or "versatile." It's important to find this out as soon as possible, because if you are planning to date or fetch into a relationship, it's vitally important that you and he be sexually compatible with each other.

The whole issue of tops and bottoms came up recently with the release of a fresh study that looked at whether or not people can determine whether a gay man is a top or a bottom just by looking at facial cues. The examine revealed that judgments made about whether an individual is a top or a bottom are based on perceived masculine and feminine traits.

There's so much talk and discussion about who gives and who receives. I've had straight people tell me that they assumed that most gay guys simply take turns. Yes, some do, but most don't. But what if a guy isn't a highest, a bottom or even versatile? What about male lover men who have never engaged in anal sex and never will, ever?

I think they earn a name of their own. I call them "sides."

Defining a Side

Sides favor to k

what does being a top mean when your gay